"Reversing Rape Culture" - Chapter 24: Some Things I Need To Say

The more I hear about it, the more I want to read deeper.

The more I read, the angrier I get.

The angrier I get, the more fed up I get. Something needs to be said and/or done.

I apologize in advance if this is all over the place. I'm not even sure what I want to say...

Something disgusting happens in the world, for the umpteenth time, and the world just keeps on spinning. Those that are in charge of influencing and molding our youth continue to slap offenders on the wrist and blame victims. It's beyond ridiculous. We're not cavemen. Let's evolve.

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A 16-year-old girl was raped by two high school football stars in Steubenville, Ohio. I'd love to say that this is the first time that this has ever happened.

I'd also love to sit here and say that there is one solitary solution that would make these travesties stop. There isn't. There's dozens of influences and deeply rooted problems that need to be solved, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try.

This is a multi-tiered problem that needs to be fixed collectively in our culture, from the ground up.

Our collective mindset needs to change when it comes to rape culture. I'm guilty of it, too, sadly.

In our high school there was... an incident. A girl a few years younger than me accused one of her classmates of violating her and forcing himself on her. I was skeptical because of her reputation. I'm embarrassed of my former mindset now, though I understand where the mindset comes from.

It has to change. We have to evolve on this issue.

Children today need to have it hammered into them that rape will not be tolerated. No grey area. If you violate someone in the worst possible way, your entire life can and should be ruined, too.

First and foremost, young men need to be taught respect. Even superstar athletes. (cancel that. Especially superstar athletes.) Respect yourself enough not to be peer pressured into doing something that disrespects yourself or another human being. In any capacity. Respect women no matter what. Treat others how you would like to be treated. You're no better than anyone else.

Young women need to be taught that their self-worth needn't be dictated by the amount of attention from others. They need role models to help and guide them through this messed up world that glorifies hyper-sexuality. They need to know that it's their right to say no, and to not be afraid of standing up for themselves. They, along with the young men of the world, need to be taught the dangers of drug and alcohol abuse, and until our collective culture shifts, they need to learn not to put themselves in dangerous situations.

Small communities that idolize their small-town sports teams need to get some perspective. The allegation that Steubenville community leaders (and peers of the convicted rapists) took measures to gloss over the misconduct of their star players is, at best disgusting/shortsighted and, at worst, criminal.

Everyone needs to operate under the same set of rules. Just because someone can shoot a hockey puck, dunk a basketball, or throw a perfect spiral, does not mean they are exempt from any of the rules that govern the rest of us. No matter who you are or where you're positioned in our culture, don't allow anyone to exist outside the parameters of normal society.

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So... what can we do?

If you plan on having kids some day, or have kids of your own now, sit them down and -gasp!- have the difficult conversations. Raise them. Nurture them. Protect them. Arm them with the knowledge and experience that you've gained. Make it abundantly clear that behavior like this can't and won't be tolerated.

If you're a teacher or a community leader, or someone in the position of influence over our youth, use this power for good. Lead by example and treat everyone you come across with the respect they deserve.

And last, but certainly not least, if you see something terrible happening, make it stop.

Sounds simple.

I know it isn't. I understand the pressures on young people, to fit in, to be cool, to have friends.

But if you see something happening that you know you wouldn't want done to you, make it stop, or tell someone who is capable of making it stop. If you don't, you're just as guilty as the perpetrators.

We can turn things around and change the collective minds of those that don't yet understand.

We have to.

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Sorry for the rant, thanks for reading my ramblings


                                                                                               -NxB